Saturday, August 31, 2002

after recovering from the mahattan that jon made me last night, i got up this morning and could not get the whiskey taste out of my throat. i don't know why in god's name i want more. but i want more!

i bought a new bass today! as far as that goes, hopefully i can get it properly "broken in" as soon as possible. every guitar i play now is from mexico. go figure...

Friday, August 30, 2002

i am really excited about last night's phone message as well. but i don't really know what's going on. matt woke me up in the middle of the night last night yelling "plastic constellations, ian, plastic constellations!" as usual, i was not in complete control of mind or body at that point. i think i just did something like quietly sigh, "plastic constellations? yeah, plastic constellations!" (very subdued '!') all i have to say is that the driftless pony club must have had a watershed event when playing at the wet seal.

ps: get ready for a shinkwrapped and quasi-professionalized second ep. greatest hits cd to follow.
a bit hung over at the moment. when our neighbors mowed their lawn a couple of minutes ago, i thought the lawnmowers were speaking to me. my sister got into town yesterday, so i brought her to see charlie's act, then drove her back to lakeshore because she is wary of the drunk bus. then to nick's, where several people randomly recognized me from classes i had with them two years ago. some girl thought indie rock was bunk, but 80's music and rap was ok. clouddead was not recognized. then to paradise, were some stuff happened i think. then home, to find craig and a phone message from tim of kurmudgeon that included the words "plastic constellations" "twin cities" "show" and "driftless pony club are lucky bastards". i may or may not have called marcus at this point. then to bed. then a great dream about this huge drawing my neighbor was making. then i realize that this is my dream, hence in actuallity, i had made the drawing, so i then try to wake up and recreate the piece to show the world. then i realize it looked much better in the dream. then this morning, when i realize i am dehydrated and i missed a chance to see meg white on tv last night. off to work now. great.
all this excitement has made my contacts burn.

445 (formerly tronsolow HQ) is having a party in the mutherfuckin hizzouse on saturday. Marcus: I think you should bring bixby and the whitewater crew to madison because we all know 445 throws the best parties in the tri-state area.
wooooaaaaaaaahhhhhh! (wilhelm style)
plastic constellations!!! plastic constellations!!!! check the messages matt!!!!

Thursday, August 29, 2002

guess who's playing at the terrace on sept. 27

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

I wouldn't go to bed right now if I didn't have to drink tomorrow morning... and by "drink" I mean "work".
so sometimes, it just so happens that motorcycles run acrost little furry animals. this is thus called roadkill. and some pedestrians even pick up these parcels and contain them further, until later notice. further on..hunger pains reign the stomach compartment and these once pedestrians then become food creationists. thereby tossing such carcasses into the boiling pot, mixing with a plastic spoon, the savory substance then turns edible by the human kind. among others. so if one sees one going to waste. do not crush it again under your spinning tires, but scoop it into your coffee. your gatorade. slosh it around. and devour.
oh yes.

Tuesday, August 27, 2002


It has been a dark time for the inhabitants of the DOTY RANCH. For two months, their precious TV REMOTE was broken, thus, weakening their resolve and dedication to the DPC. However, thanks to the heroics of M. JOSEF, SENATOR SCHULTZ, NATRON, and CRAIG BENZINE, a second TV REMOTE, even deadlier than the first, was purchased and a new era of peace and prosperity spread throughout the galaxy. . .

i have been assured that as of bar time last night, the bat has been flushed out of our house. i would like to thank those who stood by me in this time of difficulty.
I meant message. I apologize for making a mockery of the big J.C. with my terrible typing skills(please God give me good typing skills). The "Craig sucks" comment was about a certain comrade of mine not liking Coldplay. Woo!
Hey guys I told my work that we had a radio talk back about our new ep. It was a blatant lie to get me out of cleaning at the latimer house.On the other hand, I was wondering if you guys want to come down here on Wednesday for a going away party for Bertleson. On the other other hand, I bought the new Coldplay album but I haven't listened to it yet. It should be good from all of the songs I have seen them play live. Craig sucks. This meessage was brought to you by the big J.C.
did i encounter nate at 5am or was i dreaming? I hate it when fantasy and reality blur. maybe i have alzheimers.

actually I don't mind it.

Monday, August 26, 2002

oh yeah, I don't think I ever answered the song quote from a long time ago. "I'm trying to drink away the part of the day that I can not sleep away," is from Modest Mouse's song Polar Opposites. It's so good, it's sexy. Now for another movie quote. This one is super easy cuz I want people to get back into the game. "Hello Mcfly." Everyone should get this, and if you do, I'll give you a big hug and a small ass grab next time I see you.
Today for my job I had to go to four star video and rent king kong and earth vs the flying saucers. Then I had to stop by Qdoba and eat a chicken borrito. Then I went back to the educational science building and messed with the original footage of 12 angry men by mixing the order and splicing in parts of the afore mentioned movies, like the part when king king falls off the empire state building and the part when the flying saucer crashes into the capitol building in washington D.C. Because this job is soooo tough I came home and slept for three hours. Hopefully I can drown enough sorrows at the echo tonight to live another day.

Have any of the other DPC guys noticed that lately we're the only ones commenting on each other's blogs? Maybe we should only communicate this way from now on.
work ruled today. they finally let me roam the campus by myself, and i made the most of it. ended up listening to all of 69 love songs volume 3, kid a, the rich man's 8-track, and a little bit of good humor. how can work get any better? i am listening to the newest mastering of knows better right now, and it sounds much better than the first ep. and if we can get the artwork cleared, it will be much better looking. everyone wins.
looks like our next ep, driftless pony club knows better, is pretty much finished. We have to finish the artwork still but that is coming along nicely. A cute girl on the cover makes the music sound 10 percent better. WOO!
i had a vampire in my room last night. i swear, i woke up at around 5:30am this morning to some weird sounds. i slowly opened my eyes, looked over to the clock: 5:30. then i saw a shadowy object flying in a tight circle around my ceiling. "holy shit!" i sit up, very disoriented. then i run out of the room and slam the door behind me. as i gather my wits, i decide to investigate a little further. i crack the door open, reach in my hand, and dial up the lights. then i crack it a little more and see the thing, still buzzing around my room. then it wizzes down and slams into the door right by head. at that point i freaked out and woke matt up for reinforcement. but when we went inside, there was no bat to be found. the light may have sent it back into submission. i have a theory that the thing got into our ventillation system from the attic (which may or may not have its windows closed properly, nate and janel). anyway, i do not have any bite marks on my neck. although i slept out in the living room until daylight. i wish i had the money to pick up some garlic herbs or holy water. maybe i'll throw it on the new credit card.

Sunday, August 25, 2002

Nate this means you might have to purchase transportation in the next couple of weeks if you want to remain an extra special guest. WOO!
hey guys I just found out my schedule for the operetta I am in and it looks good for the months of september and october especially for weekend shows. WOO! ( the woo is to be sung little richard style.) Plus my roommate Rick Bixby is set to move in on Tuesday. WOO!

P.S. I am no longer a fan of Apples in Stereo. They are a sorry excuse for what the Right Arms will be in a couple of "all work, no play" months. WOO!
you may have heard a rumor that DPC would be playing with our sister band mabel on september 1st at the end of their cross-country tour. unfortunenetly, it will not be working out, and you will have to wait a bit longer to see us together again. in other news, i have a pete's wicked ale sample pack in the fridge, adult swim is on this evening, and i have rediscovered the pleasure that is old NIN b-sides.
I have discovered that if you put a large oak dining room table between you and a giant fat woman that used to be a tyrannosaurus rex, she can't eat you.
new kentucky quarter news: matt from w. von brohm has official been added as our new bassist. new shows and recordings will be happening in a month. whoopty whoop!

Saturday, August 24, 2002

i have been too busy drinking lately. rock on.
why doesn't anyone else blog??

Friday, August 23, 2002

jackson pollock is dead.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

yes, it is true, we have a crazy last minute show tonight! its teen time!

driftless pony club & the mercy chord
tonight! 8/22 @ the wet seal (east town mall)
7 or 8pm

had dinner with charlie's parents tonight. you should go out by breathe-rite strips, because you are indirectly helping pay for my many rum and cokes and delicous italian meal tonight. viva la snorers.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

i really don't have too much to add today. driftless pony club knows better should be done very shortly. i am on my way to work. and the new song on the dntel remix CD is fantasmic. yeah.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

it's pretty amazing to me that no one has blogged about our weekend yet. The show was really good. We played the theme to Sealab 2021 for the 445 boys, and any other fans of the show. We played older songs like apartment 10 and morning. The venue was a super huge bar with a balcony. I got super drunk. Then we went to Jon's parents super huge house and I got super drunker. I thought I was superman and punched marcus on his buttcheek. I jammed an already jammed finger and made it worse. Now I can barely play guitar. Wonderful weekend.

Read an interesting article here.

Friday, August 16, 2002

Hello, Charlie Johnson here on an extra special guest blog.
My main objective is to a) make this the longest blog ever, and b) to get the most responses ever.
First and foremost: If I were to touch one of the band members penis' which one would it be? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Secondly: If the DPC were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who would be Splinter, who would be Donatello, who would be Michelangelo, who would be Leonardo, and who would be Rapheal? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Thirdly: Is there an underlying animostiy between the Trans Solo household and the DPC household? If the two houses were to wage warfare who would win? The person who answers this question correctly will get a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Fourthly: Which one of the band members will spend his last days in maximum security prison? (Side note-- I have already prophesised so I am certain as to who it will be) The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Fifthly: Is Nate Bartley all that he's cracked up to be? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Sixth question: Out of the band who's poop smells the worst? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson. (I know and its stinky!)
Seventh question: What band set list is taped onto Nates drum set? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Eighth question: Which two band members secretly have crushes on each other? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Ninth Question: How many cigarettes does the entire band go through a day including Craig and Ian? The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
Final Question: Which member of the band is the best kisser? (I know from experience!) The person who answers this question correctly will win a prize from me, Charlie Johnson.
SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION- I am a performance artist/ comedian and I perform at the Comedy Club on State St. every Thursday night at 8:30.
Bye! I will notify the winners and give out the prizes at an undisclosed location. Include E-mail!
I love you all!

it's official, guys. Nate wins.
so jenny turned twenty-one tonight official. good times. nicks and then paul's club. drinking happened. alec and reed came in from far away. they're sleeping on the old coach right now. thanks charlie. bedtime

Thursday, August 15, 2002

bonus! soon after my final, the professor for my summer a.i. class posted grades to us on the website. i got a bc. but when sending the grades to the big bossman they must have done some rounding, cause my official grade report shows i have a b. good times, good times!
See if you can guess the song and the band from this quote. You'll get a prize. "I'm trying to drink away the part of the day that I can not sleep away." Remember to answer through e-mail, not in the comments.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

things that rule: me getting a job. whoopty whoop!
extra thanks to my friends who gave me the night-train express. craig and i split the bottle last night while watching the lord of the rings dvd. i guess i should have drank that whole thing myself, but i wanted to share. it was explosive. we figure out that the stuff is probably a better deal than maddog 20/20, but beware overuse. i passed out for three hours before getting to attend echo tap night for the first legal time.

ps: welcome back to the states, whitefish bay highschool bowling captain!

Monday, August 12, 2002

things that rule: old mixtapes. vanilla coke. the right -fucking-arms mang. jenny's 21st. alissa's new willy street hizzay (her words). other madison blogs. and you know us by the trail of dead and shellac coming to madison. one beat by sleater-kinney. ben and grace's wedding. getting ian to drink sambuca.
things that blow: cheap tequila. the wilhelms. the distance to alissa's new willy street house. our blog. exclusive not having the dntel ep, bastards. fish. joe and jess moving out. punks who mess with doty street. ian after he drinks sambuca.
I have a miniscule bump on my head. I wish I would've gotten slugged in the face like you guys. In the future, let's not let anyone in the house who wears upside-down, sideways, visors. Even if only for the reason that it shows bad fashion sense.
hey I guess I left before the real party started. I feel bad for not being there when the shit went down. I, from now on, will fight anyone who is in the vicinity of the pony's tapper.
P.S. I am learning karate for those of you who want to take me up on this offer.
My face had been lacking something. I didn't know what until i got this black eye. It pulls the whole thing together. Although I could've done without it, the cut above my eye might leave an interesting scar. A tiny little slit through my eye brow.

are we going to take pictures of our wounds?

Sunday, August 11, 2002

the party went pretty well last night. energetic sets by all bands. lots of friends. birthday paintings. birthday cookies. thank to everyone for giving me a good birthday weekend!

i don't remember what time it was when ryan came up to me and said, "they're stealing your tap, man. that dude has it in his pants!" so i walk out after the guy, and when i call to him, "hey, hold on, give us our tap back!" the guy starts running down the street with it. so we start running after him. i think it was micah who brought him down at the end of doty. and this guy wouldn't give it up. so we pile up on him and tear it away.

then, the shit really went down. the guy's friend runs up: "nobody hits my boy! no body fucks with my boy!" etc. etc... and i am thinking to myself, "nobody fucks with the doty street, you dumb motherfucker."

but this guy punched me right in face. and matt. and jon got some too i think. and andy got his nose busted. we were trying to restrain our selves, but these guys wouldn't leave. and then the cops roll up, and we're like, "you better run now, boys!" and they run off as the cops follow them and eventually catch them at the echo.

so the party got cut a little short. and we had to ID those guys for the cops with phrases like, "that's the guy that punched me." but we got our tap back, and those motherfuckers spent the night in jail.

b-day black eye.
huge fight at our party tonight. props to ian, matt, craig, jon, and especially andy. more in the morning

Saturday, August 10, 2002

ian's b-day! drinking contest!
uggggh......sambuca....... not good at the end of the night. and watch that bartender at the echo. i don't even know what the shot was called. but it was mean. real mean. mean like a junkyard dog. but i just got done taking a little nap, and i feel good ass new. although it looks like i have some kind of summer cold... thanks (i think) to everyone for buying me drinks last night.

ps. get low level owl: vol ii, by the appleseed cast
synopsis of this evening: mediocre show at the king club. first band, dress rehersal was good. solid gold headlined and only did an acoustic set. nothing more despairing then looking out the window during a show and seeing a large group of people outside, not watching you. talked to steve from five dollar for a bit. got ian so, so drunk. barf in his sideburns. echo tap. went to a party at 10 s. basset. saw a couch on fire in the middle of the road, on basset. police and fire trucks showed up. so intense. i would have to say that five dollar did it, as that's all they been bloggin about today. saw alissa. went to said party. very late and very tired. going to get ian so drunk again tomorrow. be there for the party or be L7.

Friday, August 09, 2002

i am taking my final for summer a.i. today. and i turn 21 at midnight!

for all of you who didn't know, we will be playing a show at the king club tonight:

solid gold, driftless pony club, dress rehearsal
the king club
114 king st.

and although this show was originally to be headlined with seville and schatzi, don't tear up those advanced sale tickets just yet. we are going to rock you. with schatzi's picture still on the flyers.

come to the doty ranch tomorrow for a birthday party. featuring the right arms, three dark stars, and large amounts of beer. and be on the lookout for the first public appearance of the wilhelms! alright, gotta go cram now....

Thursday, August 08, 2002

No one has answered my movie trivia. The answer is Sexy Beast. It's a wonderful movie. Watch it. In other news, I'm going on a run right now. I know. It's crazy. This'll be the second time I ran in like a year. I'm starting to look and act like this guy.
the show tonight went really well. the songs of dumpster divebomber had some rally cool parts, like the hug giving part or the poetry part. or the pat benatar cover. ivan klipstein played last, and i got to play drums with him for a few songs, even tho i hadn't heard most of them before. very very cool. tom and i decided to be shirt/blood brothers this evening, causing some confusion. a small group went out for a few and i was told i look like a young paul westerberg. hot. then i purchased a two dollar record player. what more can be said?

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

i just noticed we finally have new pictures up. Not one, but two pictures of a post-Apartment-10 Nate onto Marcus jump. Hanging with Cesto at the 324. And, of course, Craig with huge sideburns. Also, we are playing with Solid Gold on Friday night, which is cool, because they are pretty good. Hopefully they practiced tho, cause they always appear to be slightly nervous when they play. We used to get nervous too, but then we realized then no one was really listening anyways. So its all good. Also, this is still the best picture ever.
on my way to class today i ran into an old girlfriend.
from the freshmen/sophomore days.
she's engaged!
getting married next year.
and will attending law school in chicago.

i feel so young, yet so old...
Here it is, movie quote of the day. Remember, respond in e-mail, not in the comments, cuz then everyone can see the answer. "Oh, yeah. Bloody hell. I'm sweating in here. Roasting. Boiling. Baking. Sweltering. It's like a sauna. Furnace. You can fry an egg on my stomach. Ohh, who wouldn't lap this up? It's ridiculous. Tremendous. Fantastic. Fan-dabby-dozy-tastic." It's from a little known, but wonderful movie.
i have sooooooooo many sacajawea coins right now. don't buy stamps with a twenty dollar bill. you'll get 'em. i don't think i get them anywhere else. the us post office stamp machines are the sole focal point. perhaps a new deathwish sequel should be filmed wherein charles bronson loads up his sock with sacajawea coins.

oh yeah, come see some bands at the doty ranch tonight:

dumpster divebomber (kirksville, mo)
spk poet (kirksville, mo)
the mercychord (madison)
door @ 7pm
517 w. doty

these bands are touted as bananaranarchy rock, so i think you will be satisfied.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

this week:
1> james - laid
2> neutral milk hotel - holland, 1945
3> yu-cheng - juxtaposed near the head
4> polara - letter bomb
5> damien jurado - like titanic
6> the microphones - stove
7> mabel - pool boy
8> jawbox - 68
9> liquido - play some rock
10> jesus and mary chain - snakedriver
I just need to clear something up. The "craig" that responded to nate's blog below is not me. I can only assume that it is one of my friends from high school named Craig Mertes. He is in a band called Former Legitimate Scientist. Keep living up to the name, Craig. I like what you've done with it so far.
we are trying to get together a list of the best songs that feature a cowbell. so far: sympathy by sleater-kinney, shout by tears for fears, once in a lifetime by talking heads, unfinished symphony by massive attack, good times, bad times by led zepplin, the source by built to spill, give me some lovin', by the spencer davis group. any others?

Monday, August 05, 2002

i was never more happier than this as a kid. if you have a mac, you had better download radical castle right now!

Sunday, August 04, 2002

so my dad got a promotion and moving the family to jacksonville florida. accordingly, i had to go home and back up all my belongings this weekend. left on thursday instead of friday (story withheld), hung out with the old crew. friday - all day packing, went to a cesto show that evening. got them to play 'is this it?', 'be my head', and 'you gave you love to me softly.' lovely. got pretty drunk and decided it would be a good idea to get a rag-tag band together to play a little after the other bands finished. basically, a ramshackle URM was assembled and 'my friends (how to fail)' was played, making sure the URM legend lives for one more shelter. jon drove my rental car home. saturday - more packing, hung out with kimberlee, and later, marv and dave whom i gave away all my art to. later that evening, hung with d and katronic (very, very cool) and watched 'bully'. gives me a bad image of florida. sunday - load up the car and drive four other people back to madison in what was supposed to be a solo trip so i could bring all my stuff back. none of these four people offer any money for gas, tho one tells me mark of the underdogs is still together. also got an invite to an art show this fall. that's all i can think of at the moment.
I had this dream last night that Craig, Janel, Wells, Jessica and I drove to Apple River. We met Chad and his friends and we cooked over a fire. There was a girl who had a prosthetic ponytail because she didn't like her haircut. Eventually, the sky clouded up and somehow we ended up tubing down a river. It was cold as hell! But there were a bunch of us and we were all tied to together like an island of tubes. there were other people on the river too. At one point, it stormed and we sheltered ourselves under a concession stand that happened to be right next to the river (you know how dreams are). A bus came and picked us up and we went back to our campground. Then Wells picked up the ticci (sp?) torch and threw it into the woods where Janel disappeared. It got dark and Ozzy Osbourne's son, Jack, showed up later that night and claimed that he was canadian and his friend wouldn't stop eating ketchup. In the morning we were all woken up by a big, booming fireworks display.

what a fucked up dream.
Went to Apple River with Nathan Wells, Jessica Mennicke, post-european Janel, and some idiot named Matt. The parts I remember were really fun, but also really rainy and cold. Talked for a long time to some Canadians, and more importantly, drank their beer. Molson. Good stuff. And some Canadian Whisky, good stuff. Then I went back to my Royal Duffers. bad shit. But enough about me, on to more important matters. Everyone NEEDS to watch Adult Swim tonight on cartoon network. Best damn cartoons in the world. Now, as they say in Apple River, "bye".

Saturday, August 03, 2002

did anybody know that these guys broke up?

Friday, August 02, 2002

Everyone needs to run to the liquor store and pick up a case of Royal Duffers. It's 8 bucks for a case. I know you're all thinking, "8 bucks for Royal Duffers! How's that possible? That damn beer has more quality than God. For Pete's sake, it has a picture of a golf ball on it. Selling it that cheap is down right blasphemy. Boy, I remember the last time I had a duffers. Best day of my life. Better than my first kiss, I tell ya. Better than my wedding, or the day my child was born, no joke. Jeepers, I would sell my house for a duffers. Hell, I'd sell my wife and child. Ah duffers. I'm sorry, what did you say again? I was thinking about duffers." I said it's 8 bucks for a case of Royal Duffers. Buy it now before hell freezes over.

Thursday, August 01, 2002

had sambuca last night, courtesy of janel. first time i've had it since the first time i got drunk. whoopty whoop! just as interesting as i remember it being. and ian had better not be cutting all his hair off again.
i'm thinking about cutting the blonde off.... but if i do it's gonna be so short. we'll see. we'll see.