Monday, June 27, 2005

all i got in the mail today was my phone bill and a shopper stopper. janel's life is better than mine. i am glad you didn't die on the way home. my mom bought steven a baldwin fun machine for his birthday. our parents met and sweated together all day sunday. suprisingly better than expected. thanks to you all for a wonderful weekend off. now it's back to school!
I JUST RECEIVED A BLOODY TOOTH IN THE MAIL!! THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER!!! I'VE NEVER GOTTEN ANYTHING TOPPING THIS! a small lymph said that i said once said, "what if you looked in the mirror and your jaw fell off?..just like that?"the tooth is now protected in a small glass vile. no special air composition. just a plug.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

thanks, everybody, for coming to the sector five shows. I don't really remember the first night, but I assume it was AWESOME! too much spotted cow. we don't get that here in chicago. The second night was magnificent. All the bands were spectacular. Many ice cubes went airborne. It's always great to come back to Madison, where people actually know who we are. And where there's always cranes hovering in the sky, building the next great condo. And where dinosaur charades can be played at a table in Gennas for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long (which is just the right length). Thank you Colony, Hat Party, Cummies, Sleeping with Avon Ladies, Eyebeams, The Suit, Pale Riders, Solid Gold, Bracelets, Ian, Steve, Melissa, Todd, Paul Carthew, Wells (for the back flip), Batman Begins (for not meeting my expectations), Katy (for a great beach excursion), Spaight Street (which I just learned the existence of and travelled to four times this weekend), and every house we slept at. Sorry if I forgot to thank someone or something.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The only thing the tour fairy got me was a bacterial infection in my lymph system. SOB SOB SOB! Oh and I guess it also got me craig's kick ass beard. Which I like more than i should. Maybe it's really my beard that likes craig's beard. Do you think beards can achieve consiousness? Cause if they could mine would be lonely as hell. Until now that is. WINK WINK. Another thing the tour fairy got me was being really bored when I am just at home like I am right now all the time and feeling like I should be having fun all the time all the time.. Oh yeah and it also got me ONE OF THE BEST WEEKS I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE EVER. psssshhhh. like that counts. See all y'all madison peoples tonight! WOHHHOHOHOOHOHHOHOOHOHOHOH OOOOOOOOOHHH BOY!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

there's still grease on my hands.
UPCOMING EXPERIMENTS IN THE SOCIAL DOMAIN
w/ the Quincy Hoist

Last night I went out. And had some drinks. And got rather surly. Wanted a cigarette or something. Not sure that was entirely it. But in a way, some hippy-ass way, methinks that my elemental balances got all screwed up... giving up the Earth/Wind and causing too much leaning on the Fire/Water. Yeah. That sounds good.

Bottom line is, I may have been kicked outta a few weddings in my time, but prior to last night never ejected from a wedding that ain't even happened yet. And as such it is with little fanfare that I declare that I will be butt-ass sober at the upcoming Sector Five CD release party. Tha's right. You see, as a social lubricant, well... alcohol has only made me do things like lurk under tables, sit in bushes, and fume. Social lubricant? More like social boobricant!

So I'm takin' it back to the old school. High school. When I was a straight-edge skate fuck that, yes, owned a pair of plaid Lip Service shorts with around a dozen zippers that DIDN'T LEAD TO POCKETS and once tried to make a chain wallet out of Barrel-O-Monkeys. I remember skankin' along to all the hot local Houghton bands and having whipped cream wars and all without the sauce. I was still socially akward, see, but I didn't ever have to puke.

So if you see me at the show, sipping a nice cold ice water, poke me in the chest (hard!) and call me out on being a right cunty poseur. But remember: I've decided to donate all savings to building a lab and continuing the research of Dr. Shulgin into synthetic psychedelics.

And I'll totally know if you guys are actually playing the songs or if you acheived that tight, punchy sound through animatronics and player pianos. I'LL KNOW ALL 'BOUT IT.

Thank you for your time.

Monday, June 20, 2005

steven is making strawberry shortcake. i'm confused and have a stupid bruise on my stupid foot and i think it's all janel's fault.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I left 8 days ago and returned with a gift from the tour fairy. That gift is a kickass beard! If I keep it, I will not have to shave for work again.

chicago: okay, damn you david cross!!!!!

nashville: sucked, "local" band left before playing, without saying good-bye. Thanks, Adam, for allowing us to stink up your house with our sleeping bodies.

little rock: extremely pleasant surprise, free pizza, beer, and poker. Thank you, david slade and congratulations on your marriage

hot springs: good vacation from tour in Bill Clinton's boyhood town, footage created for 6 or 7 future movies of the week. Thank you, blimp conversation.

Wichita: awesome small small club, saw 1st Pizza Hut ever made, drunkenly wrote new DPC/Middlepicker song "Wichita" at 4 in the morning (it's on video), awesome breakfast, thanks, kristina and tim.

Ames: DPC missed this show. Matt's car broke down twice, and somehow nate and I found ourselves at Terrible's Casino south of Des Moines. Don't wish to talk about this depressing day anymore. Thanks, state trooper, AAA, and two dudes who fixed Matt's car.

Minneapolis: Are you kidding me? Amazing! Kurmudgeon played their last show. Tears were shed. Beer was spit. My amp broke. Thanks, God.

Eau Claire: Great Turnout. Cool club. A little worn out from Minneapolis hangover.

Madison: Maybe the best show we've ever played. Tied for best turnout with Minneapolis. Thanks, pretty much everyone I know. Happy Father's Day dad.

Oh yes, and thanks Middlepicker. I hated you at first, but over time I learned to to supress that hatred, which turned into an ulcer, which turned into a great deal of pain, which finally turned into love.

there's plenty more to tell, but I need to pass out.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

expensive, $115 for a two-day pass, but its a lot of bang for your buck. i mean, there's gotta be tons of prostitutes......it is chicago, right?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

mellissa! i'm so in! how much are tickets?????? let me know. i'm kinda poor currently, but won't be shortly. :) i will (hopefully) see you saturday?

Monday, June 13, 2005

get up at 5 am, work for 4 hours, go to class for two, work for eight more, get drunk with your visiting mom, now do homework.

how to be melissa.
day two.
insanity level: 4
air conditioning, no. maybe tommarrow.
intriguing.
there is also the intonation music fest july 16,17 here. les savy fav, death from above 1979, decemberists, ac newman, broken social scene, deerhoof, the wrens, xui xui, dungen...

any excess drinki fun this saturday?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

hey sweetie pies, are any of you considering going to lollapalooza? july 23-24, grant park. i'm getting us tickets for steven's birthday: billy idol, pixies, weezer, cake, dinosaur jr, arcade fire, death cab for cutie, blonde redhead, spoon, tegan and sara, dandy warhols, etc........

Saturday, June 11, 2005

The tour has begun!!!! Thank you to the 1 or 2 of you that came to our show at Silvies last night. I blame David Cross for DJ-ing the same night. This is the seventh time David Cross ruined my life. I don't know if any of you know his, but "Mr. Show", that was my idea. Now off to Nashville, where we will hopefully play to at least 3 or 4 people. And you stay away, Mr. Cross. Nashville doesn't believe in comedy.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I would like to give big ups to Melissa for being a responsible bike-rider and walking her cycle 'cross that dangerous Lake St./State St. intersection, not to mention Library Mall. Why, I myself used to skate (poorly) like a scruffy rapscallion until they put those attractive anti-skate attachments on those previously ugly Library Mall ledges. Lesson learned!

Barring a sudden lack of inspiration (unlikely 'cause I quit smoking TWICE in the past 3 weeks and am now a virtual fireball of [cigarette]-smoke-free energy) I am soon going to post a link to either a blog or honest-to-gott website featuring lo-to-no-fi basement fartings of a now Steve-less Cult of Hypnos (do we have to change our name now? I wouldn't mind...) and probably a bunch of banal cd-r reviews or something by moi that I ultrahumbly predict will be kinda the poor (nigh penniless) [wo]mans Les. Bangs meets Tony Rettman meets those Bull Tongue chaps without any of the worldly experience, hardcore knowledge, or fascinating connections/anecdotes. I throw this post out as warning to read (upon its existence) this once or twice when yr really bored before you and I both get really bored of it and it returns to that aether thing people always be talking about.

Also: any hints on how to develop a self-healing keyboard and perhaps translate its knowledge to perpetually on-the-fritz guitar amps?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

i am so glad my life is not as stressful as craig's.

Monday, June 06, 2005

I went downstairs, thinking my laundry was done washing. It was still in the rinse cycle and that pissed me off! I decided to wait, and on a hunch, thought it would be done in 20 seconds. I counted down from twenty, and right when I said/thought "1" the washer stopped. A huge smile came over my face. What perfect timing! But then the spin cycle started. Such a rollercoaster ride of emotions this night has been.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

My keyboard has fixed itself once again. I don't how many of you know this but my keyboard has self-healing abilities. About two weeks ago, the tremolo stopped working and I seriously considered thinking about looking for another keyboard. I even went to music-go-round. Don't judge me. Anyway, I went to the practice space today and the tremolo worked.

This has happened before. A little over a year ago, I left the keyboard in the back window shelf of craig's car. The sun melted and distorted part of it so I could not press down the buttons to make it sound like a piano or a vibraphone. During shows, I used electrical tape to force down the buttons. But, after a month or so, the keyboard healed itself and the buttons held themselves down. The keyboard is still deformed to an amusing degree but "Hello jazz guitar!"

There was one time when it started playing more than one note when I pressed a key but that was soon resolved without an intervention.

Sharing a practice space with May or May Not would be pretty intimidating for most keyboards. All those Korgs, Schlotskys, and Blag-Stones just standing aorund smoking blunts and modulating. Any common keyboard wouldn't be able to handle the pressure. But not my Yamaha. It's like R2-D2. It'll shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level. I wish my keyboard could reproduce like those flying hubcaps in Batteries Not Included.

-Matt, 4th grade

Friday, June 03, 2005

well,something that could close the side of a flimsy dress, quickly, yet hold the strengthly up for entering and exiting cabs and not too small that one would be required to have fingernails.
yes, said "vacation" still in future, but you guys seem to be leaving a bunch and then coming here a couple times in the coming weeks.....and i'm in the middle of this really awesome thing called "summer school," so perhaps a possible early july? though i prefer to be asked questions about such private things as "beading" in less public arenas, yes, there are larger than normal lobsters, but how large are we talking?

Thursday, June 02, 2005

hey melissa, is your vacation still in the hypothetical stage? and.. do 'lobster claw clasps' come in larger sizes than a typical one for the nape of your neck? a crazed medical x-ray wearing cocktail dress lady in tevas needs closure.
Our tour is almost a week away

Minnesota is two weeks away