Monday, October 31, 2005

OPERATION HALLOWEEN WALLET REVIVAL status: failure

One actual accomplishment today is that I now have my birth certificate in my possession. All I needed was a proof of address to pick up the package.

However, when I went to the DMV they said I needed a clearance letter from the Wisconsin DMV, since my old ID was from Wisconsin. Simple enough, right? All I gotta do is call up the dairy state, have them fax the letter, hand it to the grumpy lady behind the counter along with my birth certificate, and then buy lottery tickets and drink at a bar of my choosing. Wrong! I also needed my social security card.

This is the moment that I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere today, cuz you see, phase three of my plan was "security card now!". I was still in phase two, "license to drive," (the resemblance to title of the 80's Corey Haim movie is intentional).

Is this a Catch 22? Do I need a social security card for my driver's license and a driver's license for my social security card? Am I doomed to have neither, and therefore, no identity for the rest of my life? Will my bar-going friends forget about my existence? Will my country-hopping, passport gripping family fail to remember their own son? Hang on.

I trained it to the social security office, expecting failure. My expectations were met. I would need ID to get a social security card. However, the helpful, and somewhat friendly security/helper dude gave me a list of forms of ID they except and a list of forms they don't except. A birth certificate, a check card, and a proof of address were on the "don't except" list. I thought my car insurance card might work, but the dude said no. On the "do except" list were many things, of which I had none on my person. I did have one at home though. School records. I'm holding it in my hand right now (not really but it's a nice dramatic affect), but the place is closed. I'll have to try another day. And in case school records don't suffice for some strange reason, my replacement health insurance card (a "do except" ID) is on the way to my home. And luckily my parents are devout catholics, so I will have them send me confirmation records ("do except"), that is if they're not traipsing across europe or something.

For now, I will drink beer from the fridge. The only difference being that when I cry in my empty glass, no bartender will be around to replace it.

APROPOS BIG BOWL FORTUNE COOKIE MESSAGE:

Traveling with your family can
be a joyful enjoyment.
REBUILDING MY WALLET CONTINUES....

Things I have:
-new debit card
-car insurance card
-proof of address
-dashing good looks/clean teeth (I flossed today)

Things I need:
Socially Security Card
Driver's License
Health Insurance Card
2nd Copy of Car insurance card for my wallet (I have one in the car)
Lettuce Entertain You employee discount card

The Plan:
-pick up birth cirtificate at post-office (thanks mom)
-hop train to Thomson Center (where DMV is located).
-Show all my Identification.
-Plead and yell in my best Arnold Swarstaneggarlkjg;aldkfjg accent "I know who I am!".
-Show off my flossed pearly whites as I get my picture taken for my new Illinois Drivers License.
-train it over to the Social Security office.
-Show my driver's license and kiss the person behind the counter as he/she hands me my new social security card.
-walk to nearest bar, show my ID at the door, and drink.
-put off the calls I need to make for my other cards.
-years later, after I cash my first social security check (if Bush doesn't fuck everything up) go back to the same bar, and drink.

Now for step one: stop blogging.
the first Big Bowl fortune cookie message on this blog (many to follow):

Buy many dream boxes.
Ask a friend to select one.
thanks Zaid, for saving the day
With cables, song labels, and pain
You achieve a seat in our limo
For recording our DPC demo

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Clandestine footprints
a dent in your car
Halloween, muthertrucker
I'm not at the bar

Thursday, October 27, 2005

against my better judgement: to janel: 133 n franlin #2 53703
don't send me a bomb
i'm going to prom
we're being the american gladiators for halloween
love is bad
love is good
love is sad
love is "should"
Thanks son
Happy Birthday of your marriage, mom and dad!!!!!!
tonight the customers were mean
the tips were oh so obscene
white sox were on the screen
downtowners nude in the street
I came home to their beat
went out to the club feet
the drinks weren't wasted on me
went home and to my glee
after the potluck party
the kitchen island was clean!!!!
(at least the dishes weren't seen)
roommates amaze me

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

melissa whats the number of your addresszip. i'm sening a avatar
craig, i love you and all... but your dad's poem is awesome.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Good poem son, has good rhyming. Couldn't of done better myself. Sorry for your misfortune.

Someday's are good
Someday's are bad
Sometimes you do things
You wish you never had
a poem about my irresponsible weekend:

We'll Call It Rebuilding My Wallet

Rebulding my wallet is daunting
Forgot on the spot of the benchseat
Arms shouted the fountains of stopping
But the cab continued its routing

Rebuilding my wallet is sprawling
The arms of my network of calling
All holders and folders and signings
Puts a dent in my socially climbing
Hey, Johnny Boy. I ain't believin' you still be bloggin' it, fo' sho'.

Sorry, melissa, I ain't coming up cuz I gotta work. I suck.

Monday, October 24, 2005

very very very mad.
is anyone else coming up this weekend or just sam? because i really don't want to just hang out with him........(he's creepy.)
John Airis... still flipin' it for real.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Airis was not stoned that summer, Micah needed a friend of a like mind, so Airis played the part so Micah wouldn't feel so alone and homesick.
I call that "construction summer" because of all the bowling we did.

I cant believe I remembered my blogger password!!!!!
oops my bad, baby found on the foor at janels. damn baby.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

********MISSING********

1 plastic baby!

Missing since 22:00 on Friday night.
Last seen wearing a rope tied to her left leg and right arm (as the other appendages are nonexistent)
Date of birth: Sometime that summer a few years back, the summer Micah and Airis were stoned.
Place of birth: Doty street, on the actual street, then moved to Janel's bed.

Any info wanted as to her whereabouts wanted

NOTICE: If found, do not worry if she has no head, as that has been missing for some time.
Also, if found covered in dirt and with severe road burn, don't worry either.


Last seen with baby: STANISLAV NAGY(translates in English to "baby burner")

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Sawry Jenny. I am a 1st class asshole.

Other news: Holy crap! we're playing with the Plastic Constellations at the Beat Kitchen Nov. 17th!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

thanks for inviting me craig. thanks.
I stayed an extra day in Madison after our show and saw Ian's band at High Noon. I also saw Fog, a minneapolis rock band. When I came to Chicago I discovered that they were playing a free show tonight at the Empty Bottle. Damnit, it was awesome! This band does everything right. Two of the best shows I've seen in a while.

"the girl from the gum commercial thinks I'm sexy when I'm high,
so fetch my coffee, get these clicky insects off me before I die"

Thursday, October 13, 2005

apparently the alley behind work is where squirel tails go roaming like tumbleweeds, completely minus the body it once knew butt well.
dear madison,
mr. bob from braid/hey mercedes has dropped out of the aforementioned show (see nate's post below). DPC is replacing him. That means we're playing this saturday in madison.

Don't be a stranger.
craig

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

dear madison,
sam and i will be at the slipper club on saturday with our side project, sleep out (also featuring members of mt. st. helens and may or may not). we'll be playing with the city on film (mr. bob from braid/hey mercedes) and painted saints. AND, guess what? you're invited! we're playing at normal weekend rock show time, so you can go see MOMN at club 770 earlier in the evening if you want. they sound great even when you haven't been drinking, but fortunately there will be alcohol available later on for our show. so go ask them why they love playing dress-up with our practice space virgin mary and then come ask us about our drummer's new baby and our choice in sleepwear.

have an awesome summer!!!!
nate

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

if the due date for rent falls on your birthday, do you really have to pay rent?

Monday, October 03, 2005

I think sam is going directly to the wedding north of Milwaukee. I'm not sure he's going to madison cuz he sucks. Oops, I've said too much.
potato!

welcome back liz.

oh sam-
is it this weekend you are coming up here? i'm trying to work out the working so i can hang out if it is. maybe i'll just call you. maybe i'll make steven call you.
and then there's a road.
rode she did the narcissictic.
colored with fancy crepepaper bullshit a potatoe mashed on her forehead.