Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I have made a plan today to walk to McDonald's and eat. I could eat anywhere in my neighborhood and I have chosen McDonald's today. Isn't life funny? huh? no? okay. well, time to eat.

Monday, November 28, 2005


So, I was down at the rumer mill (ie club foot) and I heard it through the grapevine (ie sam) that Sexy Terrorist is going to be used in a Suicide Girls video!!!

I am so proud of you boys, what next?

I will tell you whats next- your new connection can help us book suicide girls for the opening night of Stripsters (the chicago based hipster strip club)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

filled on feti, forced to feed
on the stuffing of those who breed
now off to slumber, i recede
but after Bad Santa, I make you bleed

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

tender feti, tweet and tweet.
do not leave them in the street.
oh feti feti i shall leap.

Monday, November 21, 2005

fetii meat is awfully sweet
So, my Jon is coming to town Wed. Everyone still left in town should come over to my house at 9 or so to hang out with Jon and Beam and then to club foot.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

a poem for janel

we are missing a viking to pillage
Ukranian is short of a village
for when janel is away
its all work and no play
chicago is a lonesome sight

Janel- please help me out of this slump
in your boots matt found in the dump
like cat stuck in glue
kramer must miss you too
the bike lanes are empty tonight.

Thursday, November 17, 2005


operation status: complete.

Unfortunately, due to unforeseen hunger, operation "ham sandwich" was abandoned, forcing backup initiative "KFC" to take effect.
hey nate, i was cleaning out my hard drive and i found some old pro tools demos of yours. i burnt them to cd and i'll send them home with sam this weekend.

Things I have:
Birth Cirtificate
Proof of Address
Letter of Consent from the WI DMV
Social Security Card

Things I need:
Driver's License

I will train it to the DMV, show my ID's, smile pretty, receive my license, pick up some ham, train it home, and make a kickass ham sandwich. Aside from a few small items (health insurance card, lettuce entertain you card, 2nd car insurance card) my journey will be complete.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

i AM a pony!!!!
check out my orange guitar comb.
i like these things too.
check out Pathogens..
I have received my SOCIAL SECURITY CARD! It comes with a message in big bold letters, "DO NOT CARRY IT WITH YOU". I've gone so long without my driver's license I've forgotten what it was like to have one.

Apropos Big Bowl Fortune Cookie message:

Delay is the antidote for anger.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Thursday, November 10, 2005

melissa i don't know.. I don't knkow. itcantbe.
will there be buns?to dip in potatoes?


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Woah, seems like I had little to say the other day, twice.

Anyway, L&L Thursday with the dudes from my work, celebrating me quitting.

AND i am going suit shopping tomorrow... advice?
is it true though janel? is it true? why do we all wear glasses?

sunday november 20th @ about 5pm
if ya'll are in town, or would like to be:
this year we are having it at chris and david's because it is bigger there: 22 S. Franklin, first floor
bring something to eat or drink, steven and i will make turkey and stuffing, dan is bringing great dane beer. hoorah!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

my parents sent me this.

if you cannot decipher anything, pull the corners of your eyes.
serious here. pancakes with ketchup IS good. especially when they already resemble krunchy bacon.

Thursday, November 03, 2005


My social security card will be sent in the mail in two weeks. I had to wait in line for about an hour and a half. Once my number was called the whole process took about 2 minutes. I showed my student transcript and my application and that was that. Now all I can do is wait...

time for operation "ham sandwich".
Hey, I just blog what I feel. Others can blog too. You and I shall fight, Melissa! And it shall be a grand bout!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

should we just make this "craig's blog?"

Today features operation "Social Security Card Action Go Go Explosion Initiative".

Things I have:
-School Records
-Social Security Card Application
-Birth Certificate
-Check Card
-CTA card (for the train)
-Car Insurance Card (for no reason at all)
-Proof of Address (probably for no reason at all)
-The beginnings of a kickass beard. (do I really need a reason?)

Things I will attempt to get today:
-Social Security Card

Yep, just gonna try to get the SSC cuz I don't have my letter of consent from the Wisconsin DMV yet. This means I can't get my DL. The plan is to fill out the application, which requires both my parents social security numbers, and then train it to the Social Security office. I will show my school records and my application. They will say, "Gee sir, you sure our prepared. I can't think of any stupid little reason why we can't give you this card right now. And my, what a nice beard you've started growing." Then, time permitting, I will eat somewhere before going to Big Bowl. (There's a Panda Express in the same building as the Social Security Office. But since I always eat at Big Bowl Asian Cuisine, perhaps Panda Express isn't the best choice. Also, if I were to eat at Panda Express, I would want to eat some fucking Panda!) Later, while waiting tables at Big Bowl, I will socialize with the guests with a small feeling of "social security". PUN!!!!!!!!
Last night I dreamt that I was watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, except that is was narrated by Ron Howard, a la "arrested development".

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

in order to make you exceptionally jealous, craig, today i did my homework at nick's, wantonly enjoying that oh so elusive beverage: beer, fresh from a bar. because that is where beer is made.

now it is 9:30 and bedtime for this partier, who has the unfortunate luck of having to work at 5:30am. laura and i are wondering: are we getting old? we could only handle one night of the partying this halloweiner (we are not too old for gratuitous genitalia jokes) thus leading us to the conclusion of yes, but we are also getting cooler. too cool, in fact.

another indication of aging: we opted to make pumpkin soup out of our pumpkin, rather than carve a penis in it, as we have done countless times........