Wednesday, May 31, 2006

craig i think that is AGEISM

old chickens are people too
eew craig. that's gross. matt and janel select vegetable select.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

i would like a healthy, young, virile, chicken.
JANEL
CRAIG
MATTTTT

I need to know what you guys want to eat at the wedding.

choices:

1. douchebag
2. a chicken
3. a vegetarian veterinarian

please select.

also, i thought i should inform YOU janel and sam that you guys are needed at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner picnic - thursday june 22. rehearsal = 3pm. picnininic=5pm. you ushers are welcome also, but i will let you decide if you want to come that day early or not.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Hello! From rainy Seattle! Where your's truly has opted to get a flu, food poisoning, or some combo thereof in a clever ploy to extricate myself from having to do akward things like get taken out to a fancy fresh seafood dinner on someone elses dime. Wish you could be here to watch me dry heave and watch reruns of Walker: TR!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

i hate my life.

there was just a fucking flash flood. lowest point on the street: my house. my new-(old) car is flooded on the INSIDE. the water was over the passenger seat. mildew car and 2 feet of water in the basement, where we just moved a bunch of our shit earlier today.

i say fuck it, i am getting wasted with my cat.
Whatever. Happy Birfday Phormer Phetusmeat Phreaks!

Let's all get high on tainted leak!

And go on a four-county killing streak!

Hoping the law done turn the other cheek...
birthdays are for losers.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

janel, sorry I missed your birthday for marcus's wedding. happy birthday.

So, If anyone in the U.V. area wants to help me load up my Dads car with stuff from my place on Damen and Chicago (insert jokes how i have only slept here 4 times), I will buy food and beer. FOOBEER!

And I will let you take stuff you want if there is anything there.

Matt- I hope that you are feeling better.
Janel- Happy late BLOG Birthday, although I wished you one yesterday via human interaction.

PS Melissa and Steven, Marcus beat you to it. Congrats.

Monday, May 22, 2006

no, really. really.
NOT
REELLY???
steven and i just bought a car. it is a big fat car. it makes me look like an undercover cop. (which is the look i have been striving for.)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

hey melissa. here's middlepicker's myspace page. That's probably the best way to contact them. I recommend making your own profile and then contacting them. and then being my friend. and then giving me money.

Daniel Lieberman, a professor of biological anthropology at Harvard who was not involved in the study, said: "My problem is imagining what it would be like to have a bipedal hominid and a chimpanzee viewing each other as appropriate mates - not to put it too crudely."


Monkey bidness.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

do you guys have an email for anyone from middlepicker?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

steven and i bought our first mop recently, and i used it yesterday for the first time. boy, my life is exciting!

Friday, May 12, 2006

On the crap weather:



O! Bluster muster'd mustard skies,
Gray Poop on blotch, man... salty fries
At your cause you my brother won't
Sleep in my parents backyard tonight.

O! Instead in one room shall we,
me, my ladyfriend and he,
shack up for rest, unless you don't
cease this battering weather fright.

I really wish you would conclude
not to sound the whiny dude
but if I am to get some [****]
you are ruining all my luck.


Let us all hope that I at least get incredible graduation cashflow!

Out!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

did you know that first cousins (or brothers and sisters) can get married as long as they are sterile? i found this out today while steven and i applied for our marriage license. not that we're related. really we're not. REALLY.

oh, and my landlord called me today and said he'd been trying to trap some squirrels but SOME PEOPLE keep letting the squirrels out and throwing away the traps. oops. (don't worry, i admitted nothing! nothing!) the reason? he says the back neighbors are having a "squirrel-problem." so, i'm just wondering, what sort of squirrel-problem could they have? i mean, if it's squirrels in the house, maybe the traps would work better INSIDE the house. if it's squirrels in the yard........well, they live there, right? i guess i'm just not understanding their approach here.

i'm going to keep letting the squirrels out and denying it.
back me up.

Monday, May 08, 2006

If he gets in touch w/ you, lemme know. I'd like to celebrate my impending completion of finals later today by getting toe up with little man.








And then eating him.
sorry to hear about your cat, quincy.

I hired a sketch artist and described our newly acquired friend to him for 12 hours. Hopefully, our friend may stumble upon our blog and get in contact with us. This is pretty close to what he looked like.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Man, first I find out that my beloved cat died on Thursday (RIP Kamir, plenty of sunny windowsills and comfy laps in kittyheaven, I'm sure...) and now I find that the folk of Madison are trapping squirrels in alleyways!?! This is too much.

I haven't been paying close attention, but I feel that there's been a glut of CGI animal-revolt kiddy-flix as of late. And I can see why. Those animals have got it rough right now, hard times to be sure. Good to know that the animation studios have got their backs. I predict a Pixar remake of "The Birds" within 2 years. Maybe even a PG-13 axion-update of "Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers". Shit would be awesome.

That said, if I see any Sandinista racoons I'm outta here. There was a rabid one living in a tree outside our house on Wilson a couple years back, and dude was posessed of a yowl most heinous.

Oh, also: good show on Thurday dudes. I hope yr throat feels better, Craigster. I'm pissed that I didn't win any rounds of charades.

Friday, May 05, 2006

well, that was certainly a hair-thrilling evening. and morning. i think we need to start practicing the buddy system when we drink excessively. which would be all the time. kind of like having an AA sponser who encourages you to drink and accidentally gets lost with you.

but seriously, i am still quite concerned at this whole neighbor-trapping-squirrels thing. (for those of you who read this and weren't there (MATT) there was a squirrel in a trap in my backyard. we let him out. he was very angry. sam wasn't there. we did find him though, but not in the backyard. he wasn't in detox or jail either - we checked.)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

i just did a google search for the phrase "hair-thrilling" and I can't seemed to find any mention of it. You may have coined a new phrase. Congratulations!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I do not know how, but I have somehow obtained some intense coding powers (could be the anti-pheromone body wash) and have plowed thru what I thought to be an all-nighter's worth of project in about 3 hours. It is crazy and I love it so.

At least, so I think. Everything was written in notepad on a computer that can't actually run it, so I have to wait. This could all have been an immense waste of time...

My attendance at your show tomorrow hangs in the balance...

[Stay tuned for the hair-thrilling conclusion]
you could've totally put a picture in there to go with "bastards". Something this this perhaps:



(click on image to read caption)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

No pics from me today... just wanted to whine that you guys are really ramping up the pressure for me to do some high performance git-'r-dunnery-dunning, ass-crack-hayngin', white-trash kompooter koding over the next 2 days so I can make yr show.



Bastards.

Monday, May 01, 2006

I wanted to get in on this whole "picture blog" craze. I want my next hat to look like this deformed cat.
GUESS WHAT?
steven and i both have off of work on thursday.
you guys are coming up thursday.
WHOA.

maybe there is a god.
Earlier, I mentioned my depression due to the lack of posts on this blog. I just spent the last half hour (hour and a half) perusing old posts and I've come to the realization that it's better that we don't post so much. Here's two examples from 2002 of some of the shit we posted:

I'm going to blog. And then I'm going to bed.
posted by craggy at 1:22 AM

...my head hurts...
posted by ian at 10:51 AM